Hello, i can somewhat relate...especially to the exhaustion part...i feel tired from constant "self-repairing and correction", while my overall quality of life is still suboptimal (and its an understatement...some things are better and in those areas i see great improvement (impulsivness, anger issues, self-destructive behaviors) but i am still dealing with profound anxiety, derealization, depression and constant oscillations, (and i am now well into my 30s)...i do all it takes to deal with this...i am questioning/counterargumenting my cognitive distortions, i try to activate myself, i observe my emotions instead of being "in them", i am writing different perspectives/sollutions to current problems...i am controlling the inner chaos with rational mind, but i am still far from emotional mastery...and its really exhausting (the enormous effort exerted to control things, combined with low positive emotions)...from my experience (and it is of course not to be generalized), meds are useful in short terms (current crisis symptom control)...overall, what keeps me going is the satisfaction and pride i take from every little achievement i ve made, better insight that i have after all these years, and better overall control that enables me to function on a daily basis...