In regards to my H, so am I; despite everything I crave his affection.

Sometimes your postings triggered me but I think that sometimes triggers can help us process and learn things about ourselves. If the trigger is too much, we can avoid it. Everyone has a choice about which postings to read or not. While our situations are not exactly the same many of your postings helped me understand some of my feelings about my spouse. So you helped me and likely helped others.

Thanks for sharing so much about your life. You are a wonderful person to know--wise, sweet, complex, and a wonderful sense of humor; you make PC a better place!

Sometimes life just isn't as simple as we would like it to be. Maybe if we aren't struggling we are just numb and on autopilot. Your passion and internal struggles are just who you are and, yes, they may be with you till death. They probably just make your H and your children love you even more.

Sorry, but I had to say something.