Hey!

Welcome to Psychcentral!

I usually ALWAYS have something to say about others problem....but I guess I am as clueless as u in this regard.

From my understanding, closeness with someone involves opening up and being a little vulnerable....being vulnerable implies, not just doing "caring" things for others, but to open up about how you feel. You can say you are close with someone, not if you do something nice for them or they do something nice for u, but rather, you are able to open up, without inhibitions, about your dreams, disappointments, how someone made you happy or how someone made you sad.

We learn this skill from our family. So is your family a little uptight too? Do they have strong healthy friendships? Are they emotionally close to people outside family?

A good place to explore why you feel this way, is with your therapist.