I don't know what to do anymore. I feel myself becoming restless and agitated. I want to pace, to move. I feel like ripping my own skin off just to have something to do, to make sense of all the noise in my head. My thoughts are racing, and they are full of thoughts like, "you are a waste, you are a failure." I can feel SI's creep in, but I'm too afraid.
I thought I'd be more stable by now. It's been two months since IP, I thought there'd be some progress. But I feel like I'm headed in the wrong direction. I feel like I'm being torn in two different directions. I feel like this probably won't make much sense. I just don't know what to do. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep.