that's part of what is scary to me... i don't feel like involving the police is a feasible option... before, when this happened, there were threats... when he learned that i was talking about it in T is when he started getting closer and braver and more brazen...

i dunno, i kinda feel like its something i just need to wait out... he gets bored, as bad as that sounds. the relationship, when it all started, he called it off, because he got bored... he dumped me for another girl. he had me fully trained, by that point, and it wasn't fun for him anymore. and then after some time, he then started the stalking, because it was new and my reactions and fear made it fun again. idk...

i kinda feel like just ignoring him is the right call, at least right now. if he tries something, something worse or more dangerous, i will definitely rethink this plan, and i will definitely come here, and get opinions...

also, i think i am thinking a little clearer than i was because i have now had two good nights of sleep in a row. and i spent most of the day cleaning. all on one room (my bedroom, it was really bad)... gonna finish eating and then shower and go to bed probably...

also, i finally got a sponsor. there's this guy that i had been considering asking for a while, but he had been out of the country for a while... i am planning on going to a meeting in the morning and then we are gonna sit and chat for a bit... also, for the major AA nazis, i relate better and am more comfortable around "mama bear" type gay men, which would definitely describe my sponsor. i think this is because of the relationship this thread is about, and also that my mother is emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive (she is diagnostically a narcissist). hence, "mama bear" gay men.