I never had the experience of sootheing myself using a thought of a parent. (I don't think but I have no memories before the fourth grade). I mean I have read of the idea of internalizing these things but I wonder if I will be able to get back to sootheing myself without an appoinment card, the copy of the treatment plan ( I memorized most of the words because I used to read it before going to bed. Seeing her writing makes me think of her and her office. It soothes me and makes me feel relaxed.)
My sweet T made me a relaxation tape. The sound is poor at best. It doesn't even sound quite as good as an old voice mail that I kept for a month or so before I allowed it to be automatically deleted. But, I know that I will play it to death because she says that I am a good person because of who I am. I am not used to "praise for being" rather than praise for what we do. I like feeling like I can be a good person in her eyes even if I screw up in some way. Why couldn't my parents be more accepting of me? Boo hoo.

Thanks for responding. I am glad to see that I am not the only person who develops a strange technique of sootheing oneself using things connected with T. Why are T's so sootheing when they don't sit around and soothe us? I mean she just suggests different ways of looking at whats bothering me.

I didn't want to leave her office today. I told her that I want to wrap myself around her and never let her go. I hugged her on the way down the hall way from the office.