I think it's time to contact
911 and ask for help!
I do believe it would be better to end up in the hospital, a homeless shelter, a women's shelter, or a cheap hotel than to end up in jail ... Which is exactly where this is headed if you continue to neglect your emotional well-being and end up acting out these thoughts inappropriately!
Of course, three hots and a cot may also not be the worst option, but I think I'd want it to be MY last choice instead of my first.
Sincerely,
Pfrog!