Hello September --

It makes sense to me. In the bleakest hours of my depression and desperation, through all my whining and negativity, there was always some little part of me open to seeing things in a more positive light.

One of the things that were discussed this summer was the put-down so many of us hear, to "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" -- and so forth. None of us were even sure that the saying meant.

If there are bootstraps by which one pulls oneself up, I would have to say that the ones I used were these:

1. The kindness and understanding of people on the forums, which were a lifeline

2. Educating myself about what depression is and the distortions in thinking that it causes -- through reading the forums and books and counseling

3. Allowing space in my head and words to consider alternative ways of perceiving reality -- that is, alternative to my own dark ideas. And words are the "bootstraps" through which that happens.

Sometimes, when we are so very down and desperate, the idea that any effort will produce a positive effect seems ludicrous. Yet, we have to keep trying. Thanks for reminding us -- I need a lot of repetition for things to sink in -- and to penetrate my dark haze of negativity . . .