I relate to every word. Replace all your anger with FEAR and that is how I feel. I'm so terrified of people and want so badly not to feel this way anymore. I'm finally getting therapy and plan to stick it out in my 40's. Wish I would have done it earlier but I was in too much denial about what actually happened and how much it affected/infected me.

I am so sorry you feel this way. It sounds incredibly painful to be so angry. And I know all to well what's it's like to WANT to trust but CANNOT.