Makes sense...it is known, and the body knows it ---- I think it is r/t the physiological effects------reminds me of feeling the loss of certain very high stress jobs that involved threats of (and actual now and then) physical harm----there is a kind of "rush" inside, akin, I think to ptsd (eg: who do combat veterans feel OK around? where do they feel OK?...isn't there something that 'misses' the constant tension, the dealing in the moment with imminent danger?......)
There was a long period of time when my long, severe panic attacks stopped and I found an odd sensation/voice inside "wishing" for just a bit more "So I can figure it out"...
And, even some days when I know going out in the sun would relieve me, I curl up in the corner of the couch...
I thank goodness for the things I feel I have to do ---- and am glad to know a few things I can do that will push that tug far far away...
__________________
"...don't say Home
/ the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris
|