That sounds so hard. It sounds, just from his age and your own problems that he needs longterm care or help as there's only so much care you can give him at home. If you've given him 8 options of where to go, I think you just need some way to "enforce" him to go which his age should allow you to do. But would be sad to have to worry/be afraid of your own son's vengence.

I think Parenting would be a great subforum under Relationships.