Welcome! I understand how you feel. Having Bipolar sucks. This is a great place to vent and have support. I went some years before getting the proper care. I went through a string of not very good therapists and doctors before I found the right fit and now feel confident about the care I'm getting. I hope you find what you need soon too. You deserve to have a doc you feel comfortable with. Even with meds, I still struggle, but it's day by day. That's the nature of this condition, although it's very frustrating. Keep posting whenever you feel the need!