DePressMe,

I know when I was reading about the passing of your Grandma, you sounded very casual about it. It sounds that you have so much going on in your own life around you with your job situation that your concerns are there (where they should be....not saying anything wrong about that). I seems that with all the stress you have going on in your life & then the grieving for your Grandma is in here also it is natural to not be able to focus on any one thing that is causing the confusion you are experiencing.

I know for me when I get stressed, I can't eat...I actually feel sick when I eat, so I don't eat when I get stressed. When my Mother was dying 3 years ago & the stress of the situation was so bad, I couldn't eat. My pdoc told me that I wasn't able to comprehend everything that was going on around me because of the lack of nutrition. The problem was that I couldn't keep food down with all the stress & wasn't something I could fix at the time. But it is something you need to focus on is getting your nutrition back into balance.

Then you will be able to start sorting through your thoughts. It sounds to me like your job situation isn't the best & I might consider trying to find some other job before they fire you "because of nothing personal...just policy". You don't need that kind of stress hanging over your head.

I know my career situation wasn't something I could get out of, so I understand if that is possibly your situation also, but if at all possible, I think that is where I would start.

I know they say not to make many changes at one time....if a death in the family....don't change jobs or move or whatever.....but it's important to look after yourself & if that means making a change in career/job, then it's important to focus on the things that you can make changes to in order to lessen the stresses in your life.

There must be more things going on that just job & your Grandma's passing that are bothering you but I would try to list all the things that are stressors & see what ones you can make changes to & what ones just have to be delt with. Then try to come up with the solutions on how to get rid of the stress or at least reduce it.

I know this sounds text bookish, but it has worked in the past for me. I have also had times where I couldn't make any changes that would reduce the stress & that was a very serious time for me.....

The place to start is with your nutrition however, so your mind can start working again & able to identify your stressors. From there, you can figure out what changes you can actually make to get rid of those stressors & try to lessen the others that have to stay.

Based on my past experiences with stressors, I hope these suggestions might help a bit for you,
Debbie