Quote:
Originally Posted by prefabsprout
Maybe this is midlife crisis I don't know.
I'm married, settled life, nothing fancy but comfortable, our son is grown now. I work and volunteer, my job is routine, heavy physically (I am fit), but a regular wage. Volunteering is nice (can sometimes be sad because of declining health of people I volunteer with).
I love my husband, things haven't always been easy but he's a good guy. He's older than me and I have always been aware my old age will be alone because of this.
Happiest days of both our lives were when son was little and we had such fun times, now he is grown that is over.
Sometimes life feels so joyless like the best bits are over and nothing to look forward to. I don't think this is depression (was treated earlier this year), rather more a rational awareness. How do I reconcile myself to the fact the best bits are over? My overwhelming mode is flat and tired.
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In many ways, I could have written your post. I was a stay-at-home-mom with my two children while my husband went to work. I loved my life. My husband is also older than I am, by fifteen years. We've been married for over 30 years. The kids are grown, our oldest, our daughter, is married and our son lives with his girlfriend. I do speak with my daughter every morning, but my son only occasionally. When they were little I thought the time would go so slowly. Well, it didn't - it raced by. So fast, and GONE. I've retired form my job of thirteen years (I worked while my kids were finishing high school, in college, and making their adult lives). My husband and I do run an online business, but my days are long and quite empty. I am alone, except for my cats, most of the time. The best days, the meaningful days, seem to be long past. I don't foresee grandchildren any time soon, if at all.
Most of my extended family (and my husband's) have died. No more big family holidays or anything like that. I've lost so may pets, over the years. I can't see much to come except loss and more loss. I tried to go to therapy, but the therapist just didn't 'get it' - plus she was younger than I am.
Anyway, yeah - I well understand how you feel. I suppose it's some kind of midlife crisis. I wish I had some magic, hopeful words for you. All I can say is, you're definitely not alone.
