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Why are you unmedicated (not that you have to be, but it may help)?
Do you create expectations (beyond what would normally be expected of you)? If so, you may need to find ways to lower them to focus on other or more important things: friendships, feeling more free, more satisfied.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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