DePressMe,

First I am so sorry for your loss. I know how stressful and emotional this time can be. Grief can do so many things to your mind and body.

Second I know exactly the tightrope you're walking with work. The very position you are in places that much more stress and can create that many more problems.

My only suggestion is to make sure that you have a Doctor's slip for absenses. I KNOW the last thing on the planet you want to do when you have a migrane is go to the doctor, but hopefully your doctor will work with you. Another thing to look at if you are stressed is the Family Medical Leave Act, talk to your doctor about the amount of stress you are going through and the workload you have to deal with. Your doctor can give you time off to deal with these things and the company you work for cannot do a thing about it. My doctor for example gave me time off with the explaination "under a physician's care, off work until further notice, will re-evaluate ...." It is his belief that your employer does not need to know why you need the time off, only that it is necessary. There are a couple of downsides to this, one they do not have to pay you unless you have sick time and two your employer may require the minimum time off to be longer than you're willing to take.

I'd look at your state's labor website for guidelines with your employee handbook in hand.

I wish you the very best of luck dealing with your grief, depression, and stress at work. I know when it rains it pours, but also that this too shall pass. Hang in there! You've been a great source of encouragement and support to so many people, take some time for yourself now.