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What you described is when I go.
Basically when I see vivid images of me going through with my plan of the moment and I can't get them out of my mind. That's when I go. But I usually won't go unless a doctor recommends it to me. I won't take myself to the er. In fact I do everything I can to simultaneously push for it and fight it if that makes sense. It's like I really want to be there but I don't want to seem like I want it. It's weird.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore
That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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