Hi, I was only diagnosed as ADD as an adult, even though I showed signs of it as a child, I was just called a "daydreamer" and "absentminded". My parents used to say I would lose my head if it wasn't attached. I remember that horrible feeling I would get when I forgot something important. Every once in a while, even though I am on Adderall XR, I still experience that dreaded feeling of having goofed up royally, and struggle with my self esteem.
But, not knowing how long you have been on the Zoloft, sometimes it takes awhile for the medications to work. I don't know if Zoloft is one of those medications that has to build up in your system a little bit in order to really see if it is working. Also, I used to take Strattera and I didn't like the side effects, and it could be that another antidepressant or another ADHD med might help. You would know better than me, with your medical background, I'm sure. Obviously you would only want to change one medication at a time.
As far as being different, I know that feeling. Lately, I am realizing how many times people at work would get together, and I would not be invited. I was invited to certain events, but not to the more impromptu social get togethers. I wondered why I was not invited. I think I just do not pick up on social cues that others do. Also, I am going to go get checked out for central auditory processing disorder soon, which creates a gap in my ability to socialize at times. I thought it was my hearing for a long time, that was the problem, but a few years ago I went to an audiologist and got my hearing tested and they said my hearing was fine, I should see a neurologist. Well, of course, I didn't go, because I really didn't want anyone messing with my brain, and didn't want to know if there was something more wrong with it. After all, my doctor and some therapists and a psychiatrist have all diagnosed me as bipolar, ADHD, and generalized anxiety disorder. But now, when I have realized, from my husband's observation- if he says something and I respond with "what?" because I didn't understand what he said, thinking I didn't hear it, and he says nothing, I will sometimes realize what he said a few beats later. I don't know if that is central auditory processing disorder, but that was one thing that happens to keep me from relating with others. I feel much more comfortable one on one with people, and I think they notice that, too. Because I don't always get the jokes, because I can't make sense of them in a room with everyone talking at once, or music in the background. I feel on the outside of everything and don't know how to participate. Lately, I have noticed that even when I am listening, paying attention with all my might to my husband talking to me, I STILL do not understand what he just said. The sounds I can hear, but making sense of them is just not happening.
I think my anxiety and my ADHD and my processing issue are all combining to make it difficult to interact with other people. I have read a lot of ADHD books and articles and have noticed that social cues and having good relationships can be challenging for someone with ADHD. I don't know if that is your issue, but I do know that wanting to be "normal" is not really the best goal to have when you have ADHD or any mental difference. There are so many people with different issues in this world, that who really knows what "normal" is. I think, if you try to work with a counselor on learning about social cues and realize that you are special, just the way you are, and learn to love and accept yourself with all of your differences, then wanting to be "like everybody else" will not be your goal, anymore. You have wonderful skills to help people in your profession, and you can get beyond these communication issues, and other people not being able to "read" you is not your problem. I don't know why they feel the need to read you, in the first place! This may reflect on their insecurities because you don't fit into a mold. Just tell them that you will let them know if you are upset about anything and otherwise to take what you say at face value. What are they expecting you to say when they tell you they do not understand you and cannot read you? Have you asked them? Tell them that you are working on the problem, if you feel like it, and if not, say "I'm sorry you feel that way".
Anyway, I hope this helps, and either way, I wish you the best in this issue. But I wouldn't take these comments so seriously that you rethink your profession. Before I read that you were on Zoloft, it was obvious that the breakup with your boyfriend has resulted in depression. Hopefully a counselor can also help you process your grief surrounding that issue, also.
Take care!