I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. As someone with treatment resistant depression, I understand. I'm 64 and have been fighting this illness for 32 years. Things work for a while and then they don't. I finally filed for disability two years ago because I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt guilty at the time but as time goes by, I realize how much I needed to quit working. I've been functional for a year at a time but that's as close as I get to being well.

If you need to go on disability, go for it and don't worry about other people's opinions.