Thanks Patty, Bebop, _zh and Debbie:
First of all, I'm sorry for all of the grieving you've all had to go through as well; some of you are doing so in the present. That said, I can't believe you're taking the time to support me - I appreciate that so much - I feel so self-absorbed right now that the best I have been able to do is tackle some of the easier posts here on PC. You are all so kind....

I didn't know what kind of support I was looking for when I started this thread, yet it turns out that the posts you have made have really helped me a lot. I am touched that you're taking the time to support me like this, and are sharing your own stories. I feel closer to you all because of your sharing and care. It helps a lot. Thank you.

Bebop - my dad'd prognosis at this point is 6 weeks. He seems to be deteriorating quickly, so I don't know if it will be less, in reality.

You know, Debbie... strangely I'm not particularly stressed, despite it all. I mean, this is no walk in the park, but when it comes to how this is affecting the baby, I don't know - maybe I'm in denial about this - but since I became pregnant I have been calmer than I have ever been in my life. I understood that my surging hormones would likely cause mood swings, but I have felt really, really centered the whole time, even despite the curve ball with my dad. It also could be that I started taking meditation classes this summer, but I haven't been practicing in the last few weeks and I still feel relaxed. I don't know - it's odd, indeed. I need support, but I don't feel anxious and churned up as I did when taking care of my husband when he was sick. Or maybe it's because I see my stepmom and brother being all churned up - it wouldn't do the family much good if all three of us were on the edge. I don't know...

The night was quiet. My stepmom has slipped Tylenol PM into his nightly meds for the past two nights, and although I really didn't mind getting up to check on him during his nightly snacking sessions, I know that it was keeping HER up with worry and I have to say that I think all of us are better off with her new plan. There is no need for him to be eating in the middle of the night, anyway, and it's really dangerous. I'm glad that she has found a way to ensure that she gets enough rest and can keep him safe while she's sleeping.

One thing that saddened me this morning - after breakfast, he was walking back to the bedroom and passed the side table where my stepmom had placed all of his get-well and birthday cards. On the table was the letter I wrote him to show appreciation for all he taught me growing up (which was not an easy letter to write - I have more resentment than appreciation for my relationship with him, but I did my best to put all that aside for his peace). We thought he was collecting them to read in his room - I'm not sure that he even read my letter because he didn't acknowledge it - but instead he walked over to the trash and threw them all away

I have to get some work done but thank you again for all of your kind words. Your posts mean a lot to me