I've been depressed for so long that I don't know who I am anymore, and my social isolation is turning me into a misanthropist. I hate feeling this way but i just can't pull myself out of it. Sometimes, I experience brief moments of happiness, like when I watch cats on YouTube or look at family photos, but I'm jolted back to reality almost immediately. It Seems like my brain can no longer cope with positive emotions.

I can understand why you see depression as an old friend because when we inhabit a paticular state of mind for so long, it leaves an indelible mark inside us - even if we manage to conquer it. It has got to the stage where I'm almost afraid to get better because if I did, the realisation of what I've lost will just send me into the black hole again.