Quote:
Originally Posted by xenko
 : agree: 
You are soooo right!! The people responding to your post have no clue at all what you are going through. You came here for understanding and what do you get?? You get blamed for being a good person. I know all about that. The problem is NOT YOU. The problem lies with the bullies and those who support them or are too afraid to speak up in your defense. There is a lot of FEAR going around the office unbeknownst to many people. FEAR of BULLIES. The replies you received here are off the wall. I'm sorry for the lack of support.
Being sensitive, kind and friendly is not a problem. The problem is the cruel treatment that you received from bullies. People who feel superior to others have a SICK personality that causes them to put good people down. They are very careful about who they show their prejudice to. That's how they get away with things.
Let me add that as far as getting work buddies and allies, I have been sorely burned in that department as well. If you can make an ally you are lucky. Maybe one in a million. I have found that many pretend to be your ally but when called upon in time of need they turned their back on me. I would not have done that to them but this is how good people are treated. Just letting you know my experience. Doesn't pay to be nice except to strangers. I intend to only be kind to strangers because the people I knew stabbed me in the back more than once. Good luck. I hope your life turns out better than mine. |
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Thanks for finally getting it! I'm done with explaining to things to people who seem to think that I'm the problem here and that every bad thing that happens to me at work is somehow my fault, or that I'm being to sensitive. Whatever!
I'll ignore those responses from now on. I'm tired and stressed out and don't need or want to deal with any more judgement and accusations of how I'm doing this and that wrong and that I should just grow a thicker skin and not complain to anyone about anything, ugh!
That's exactly why bullies get away with what they do. They know that most people are either afraid of them, or that others just don't care about how bullying affects other people. As long as it's not happening to them, who cares, right?
As for allies at work, as well as work "friends" I think that is a rare thing, to find a true friend and ally at work. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been stabbed in the back. I have had that happen to me too. So I keep my distance from people. I don't trust anyone at work at all 100%. There is no shame in speaking up, and it doesn't make you a whiner, high maintenance, or whatever. It makes you a damn hero! People are much to scared of bullies. Either that or they just don't care about work place bullying. Like I said, if it's not happening to them, who cares?
All I can do is continue to do my best at work, watch my back, be friendly, but not to trusting, and just smile and nod at my managers even when they're being rude and condescending towards me as I do need money. So I have to suck it up, ugh! I have to try to act like I like them no matter what so they can maybe be nicer to me. Honestly, working with other women sucks usually as most women who have positions of power abuse it from what I've seen. It's sick. And people who abuse others at work are sick in the head. Maybe if more people spoke up and stuck up for one another, then maybe there wouldn't be as many bullies in the work place as there is now.
Ever watch Horrible Bosses, Office Space, or the Devil Wears Prada? Bullies are crazy and they often get away with a lot that they shouldn't. Someone needs to be brave enough to step up and let them know that it's not OK to treat someone like crap just because they're supposedly not as "important" as them. I'm a proud renegade and I hope that I can inspire people to change and that my words and actions can help stop work place bullying and harassment to some degree.
Thanks for getting it! Never let a bully or sexual predator get away with making your life a living hell. Always report them. And report them immediately. Go above their heads if you have to. People, stop making excuses for bad behavior and stop being afraid of them.
One lady I used to know had to start taking anti depressants after being consistently being bullied by her female boss. She was also bullying other people there. They are sick and they need to be stopped. I'm documenting everything now just in case I ever need to go above anyone's heads. Obviously some people on here have never been bullied, but I'm a bit shocked at how some are quick to blame the victim.