I don't even know what to say.

I'm so upset and angry all the time. I know that its probably just with myself .. but i can't seem to make it go away. I'm not motivated to do anything (which doens't help me with my midterms for tomorrow), and I just want to cry, or physically hurt something ... or myself

I hate where i am right now. All i can think about is where i'd rather be, with the people who i need right now. Unfortunately i'm pretty sure i scared those people pretty good this time with all the talk of SI and me being needy. But I am - needy that is. Or at least thats how i feel.

I grew up watching the Sound of Music, and right now, thats the only thing that can comfort me - a silly musical. Last night i kept watching certain parts over again ... mostly though, just when Julie Andrews was acting "motherly" to the children. Growing up I always wanted someone like her in my life.

How horrible am I? I have a mother, and i'm just being ungrateful. I keep trying to find people to "fill that void" that should be filled by her. That could probably be filled by her ... if only ... if only i wasn't so .. horrible. This is all my fault...

I'm sorry. I've been seriously over-posting lately. Things are just pretty overwhelming right now. ... I'm so sorry...