i can see why you are bothered. could you be projecting your father's behavior onto your boyfriend?

my father was and is a functional alcoholic. at rare times, my husband might grab a beer in the evening (twice a year or so). when he does and i see it, i automatically panic and ask him what he is doing. he is just having a beer and only drinks one beer. i think that it triggers memories of my father downing close to 15 beers/night and i panic. in the 16 years we have been married, he has never once gotten drunk so i know it is my issue.

like you, my husband and father is nothing alike which was by design.

sounds like you have faith that your boyfriend wouldn't start again and that you gave a good relationship with him.

have you discussed these feelings with him? maybe some reassurance from him would help you reconcile what is bugging you.

i am not innately fearful of marijuana. did it a little bit over 20 yrs. ago in rebellion against my mother. not proud of it but would never touch it again. not proud of it but know what to look for if my son begins to use. i am horribly fearful of the hard drugs.

anyway, hope this and/or the other posts help you settle your mind.