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Originally Posted by FallenAngel454
Hi everyone, I am new here and I joined here because well, I don't know where else to turn. I have tried a site called "E-Not Alone" with no luck. Since this site has a big relationship department I thought maybe I could get some advice.
I am 17 years old and I am currently in an LDR with another 17 yr old male for about 4 months now. I love him so much. It's not just "like" I know this is love because of how I feel for him.
We are online only but plan on meeting in the near future as both of us live in the USA so not too far apart. The problem is, I have cheated on him multiple times. Sexting specifically and at least with 13 people.
Mainly just exchanging nudes and roleplay, nothing too crazy but still very wrong. I act out of impulse and don't know what I'm doing until I'm finished and that's when the guilt immediately sets in.
I haven't sexted with anyone in a while now but back in September, I was caught sexting someone and he initially broke up with me but he decided to forgive me because he loves me so much.
I genuinely care about him and show him my love everyday we talk. The way we met and the story behind our meeting is magical, something out of a movie. I don't want to lose him I love him so much and I don't want to break his heart again.
I am not dating anyone on the side of him but that still doesn't justify what I did. I have no motive for what I did either. I just basically did it to see what those other guys had. When I finished I felt absolutely horrible.
I have lost other relationships due to my infidelity. Some partners never found out, others did. The ones who didn't find out just broke up with me cause either they found someone else or they were abusive so I ended up dumping them. I felt it was karma for my cheating.
After my last relationship ended due to infidelity, I vowed I'd never cheat again. Yet here I am doing it again. Why do I do this?? Why can't I just stay faithful? I just can't control myself. I want a healthy relationship without lies and secrets but every relationship I've had seemed to have gone bad. This one is not like the other ones though.
He genuinely cares for me and I do the same. He has not cheated on me once!! I am a serial cheater and I need help. Please spare the negative comments. I know I'm an awful person.
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It's a matter of being honest and upfront about how you approach relationships.
herein lies the problem. It's not that at your age that you want to date or be able to date a few people or hook up or whatever it is you want with them, it's whether or not you present your relationship with whom you are with as such or if you are pretending to be exclusive with them.
Make a choice, simple as that. If you WANT to be exclusive to this one person, then do so and do not veer from that, and present yourself as that person's mate. If you do care about them but want the freedom to be able to continue to date or be with other people then say so and be transparent about how you are. It may or may not go well with the person you are with now, since you started off with a different approach but still honesty being the best policy I think it's only fair that he know what it is you want.
You always have choice in these matters it is never out of our own personal control. You either choose to be exclusive with the person or you have to be honest with them and let them know you want to keep your options open. Doing one and presenting the other just isn't the right option to choose.