I definitely can relate to what you wrote in your opening message. This question you ask may or may not be true for me. I don't exactly understand the question in the way I think you intend it to be understood. My problem, not yours. I think you express yourself well but I must admit that sometimes I'm not sure what you are asking.

My delusions are sometimes very good and sometimes very bad. Sometimes they are illusions of control or delusions of a complete lack of it. How much importance the delusions have will determine how much they effect me. Is that what you mean?