I am dealing with the aftermath of emotional abuse in my most recent relationship.

I feel sheepish sharing because it's nothing like the stories I've seen on here and but it's significant to me and my therapist says I 'minimize' my own experience too much. She frequently has to remind me that yes, what I experience was in fact abuse and I have a right to be angry, sad, traumatized, etc. I know this to be true but I'm still .. I don't know .. trying to come to terms with it.

Emotional abuse is difficult for the fact that there's no 'evidence' after the event other than your own memory and feelings. It's hard to explain to friends what this means without getting into details and description and that's exhausting. Also, my friends never saw any f this. We always 'behaved' in public. So most of my friends are still friends with my Ex, and it feels like they just 'don't want to know'. They avert their eyes when the subject comes up. This leaves me feeling ashamed and like I shouldn't 'bother' them.

I went through some old journals last night to remind myself, all the fights and the things she said, all the times she insulted me, screamed at me, then ran off crying and leaving me to feel that I had done something wrong to her.

Yes, it happened. At the very least she was subtly controlling, questioning me about my decisions, about what I wore, how I looked, how I ate, talking down to me, talking to me with disdain, manipulative... at worst she was verbally abusive, calling me names; *****, asshole, sick, unwell, selfish, self-centered, annoying, obtuse, disgusting, ... yelling at me that she 'hated' me, telling me that I was 'horrible to live with,' cursing at me. All of this was followed up with tears and apologies and my own codependent shame enabling her to believe this was the fault of 'both of us'.

If I spoke up or questioned her little insults, she called me too sensitive,
If I tried to get away from the big blowouts, she said I was 'bailing' on her,
If I didn't respond to her baiting, I was 'ignoring' her and 'shutting her out',
If I inevitably lost my own temper or yelled back - then I was the one who was abusing her and I was 'no better'.

There was no way to win. I'm coming to terms with all of this. Meanwhile, my greatest difficulty at the moment is that my friends continue to be friends with her and I have to navigate seeing them -and making them understand I do not want to be around her.