It sounds like you really want something that you are afraid to really want....whether because you do not trust the people who can help make that possible, or because you have some self-doubt. But, it sounds like you have great value, (& I totally understand about getting the 'lead' without the authority you need to do this well, it can feel like, or even be a kind of set up for "failure" but...it can also be an opportunity...
If you can focus on the work, and put aside what you think they think I think you should go for what you want, and make it clear to them what you want/need in order to continue at the company. Don't run....(I say this after running many times...and end up seeing the "could have been" in the rear view mirror)---it is worth it to try for what you want, and take your time to look elsewhere to build another work world (you might want to look just to "window shop")----but try to hang in there till you can make a decision that is good for you. (((((((((hug))))))