Ive been struggling with depression and anxiety for fee yrs now, its getting worse again. I feel numb and suicidal. I want to get help but I dont really now how to start a conversation with the doctor. I feel extremely anxious talking about what im going through with anyone, I know that if I made an appointment I would start crying and my mind would go blank and I wouldnt know wat to say.
Ive been to that doctor when I was 16, I felt like she wasnt really listening to me and blamed my struggles on exam stress even tho it wasnt true. She did wanted to reffer me to a mental health nurse but my parents were with me, I chickened out and said i dont need it. It was last time I seen the doctor, I fear she'll ask me about the last time even tho it was nearly 2 yrs ago. I also fear she wont take me seriously cuz i cant explain my struggles properly when im anxious and im gonna be emotional. What should i do or say? Im so lost