I know I said I was taking a break but find it hard as I seem to be a bit addicted. Or maybe I just need a lot of support right now. My oldest son lost his mind again....I cannot go into the details but it was a very scary and tragic day. My mom, dad, sons best friend, my husband and myself were all involved and it resulted with needing to send my son to live with his father which he says he won't forgive me for. I'm so heartbroken and scared for him. He is my baby and he is hurting so badly right now and I'm afraid I will lose him. I don't trust my Ex Husband which is where he is staying but I have no other choice right now and my family and I all agreed my son needs a change. He needs to get away from certain friends and he needs medical treatment. We almost called 911 and had him taken to the hospital in a 51/50 because things were so very bad and scary. I want to go back in time with my son and do everything over and different. I want to hold him on my arms, cuddle him and watch Winnie Tje Pooh together. He loved poor. I want to fix him so badly and help him but it's not in my control or expertise. He needs professional help. He is such a beautiful wonderful kid when he's well. My heart is just breaking and I feel so powerless.