The holidays are my worst time of year... I think the first time I saw a T for depression was on Christmas Eve, 20 years ago now. This year is shaping up to be really bad, I'm starting to feel kind of desperate, it's kind of early for me to be feeling this bad. I feel so separated from the rest of the world, like being behind a glass wall. I'm not a part of anything. It's the loneliest time of year in a very lonely life. I hate it.