I got arrested for a miniature crime spree once. I was running around all night smashing things with a bat and rearranging Christmas decorations in yards.

Another time, I punched a cab driver in the face.

Another time was a suicide attempt. It's confusing to me now because I was very drunk. I remember nothing, but my house got robbed on the same night. Apparently I missed it because I was drunk and trying to do away with myself. The cops told me that they couldn't do anything about the robbery but made me tell my parents about the attempt and left.

Another time I was wandering around in the desert on hallucinogens and found myself in a weird community. I knocked on someone's door and they called the cops. The police took my ID and I was shaking so badly. They said, "wow you are nervous. You should probably wander home" and that was it