Quote:
Originally Posted by flowerbells
Thank you for bringing up this subject. It’s more than this, which you wrote: "This is mania. This is not a moral failing. I know it's hard to understand that, especially if you've been hurt by it. "
This post will not be popular with some people here, but here it is. Let's hear from some more victims, please.
There is stigma against people with any symptoms of mental illness. That is why it's so hard to find public services and family to try to help us. I have bipolar myself, and believe the public stigma is to be expected, because so many people are severely hurt by symptoms (some symptoms? Many? All?), whether they be financial, sexual, emotional, physical, nuisance behavior, or whatever. The big question in my mind is, how do people find out ways to protect themselves/ourselves. (including vulnerable people with mental illness, who can easily be exploited -- as well as children of either gender) A good idea is to find another hypersexual person to be with. I married one, who I think was uni-polar manic. I was hypersexual from the time I was a child, so I know what it's like to be consumed by sexual desire. My husband and I had a lot of problems, but our sex life was incredibly great -- for eleven years. He had been in a mental hospital by law for several months before I knew him, but in those days I had no idea of what this meant. He'd been rx/d lithium, but no longer took any meds.
When I used to go to a mental health drop in center (which has now been closed down by "the system" for no reason), I was exploited by a man there. I was near suicide for six months after that devastating experience. We women later found out that there were exploitative men from the floor of the building where professional mental health workers tried to help people with alcohol abuse. Many of these men came into the drop in center with one reason: to have sex with the women there. I also know one woman who was a sexual predator on vulnerable mentally ill men there. The clinic did not address the problem the victims, and how to not be vulnerable. The counselors knew all about it! The clinic also had an unprofessional policy. My counselor and psychiatrist were working with both myself, and the man who was sleeping with so many of us women. They must have known about his irresponsible behavior, but never warned me about him, or how to protect myself in general.
There was one guy who preyed on young boys, and he was mandated by law to come for mental health treatment. I knew his adult lover pretty well, and the lover told me this guy was watching child porn on a frequent basis (which he was prohibited by law from doing), and said he would continue his child sexual abuse when he got out.
These things are absolutely inexcusable! The harm done is immeasurable. The question is not forgiveness. It is how to avoid and protect ourselves from any form of abuse, whether the person is manic, or sociopathic, or just plain evil. I will never, ever forgive the guy who put me through the anguish he did to me and so many other women.
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Wow. Thank you for sharing this. Victims spoke up on another thread called Crushes. That's why I wrote this. My wife bears deep scars. First, from me and then from our kids both of whom were hospitalized for suicide attempts related to bipolar, anxiety, and depression. My wife was diagnosed with PTSD this year. And it all starts with me. I believe I made my family sick with my mania, depression, and alcoholism. My daughter, unbeknownst to me until recently, found a dirty text from a woman on my phone when she was in 8th grade. That's when her mental health issues began. She is Bipolar I with very serious depression. My son bore scars of me leaving. His desperation was quiet. We never saw it until on his third attempt decided to reach out to me. And now I bear a scar.
Bipolar is not a victimless condition no matter how out of our control it can be at times. For me, it is all about what I do now. I will live out my amends until I die by being the kind of father and spouse my family deserves, which includes stringent adherence to my treatment. I want to share my story because there are dozens of men and women in this community who have been either a victim of it or perpetrator of it.
I'm I guilty? Yes. Could I have prevented it? I don't see how. Can I make sure it never happens again? I have to believe that I can.