I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time.
Well done going to the ER when you felt unsafe.

Many or most antidepressants say they could increase suicidal thoughts in the beginning, especially with young people.

It is important you keep in contact with the doctor and any other support you have, these thoughts are supposed to reduce over time, but keep pestering them if they don't, or if you really feel you can't be safe.

Not every medicine suits everyone and some people have to try a few, however, suddenly stopping medicine can be serious as well.

Keep talking to the medics caring for you and please use any support or crisis lines you have access to. It's better to call before giving in tho an impulse than after.

Good luck and stay safe.