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I know deep down he does want her in his life as a friend as they did spend many years together.
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Keeping an ex in one's life can be problematic for two reasons. First of all, keeping the ex around makes it harder to get over him/her. Second, having the ex around often creates problems for the next relationship(s), as you are seeing.
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I know break ups must be a very emotional time, he was probably feeling angry at her when he said those negative things about her to me
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You really want to believe that he is innocent, just naive and overly caring.