kim,

I have no doubt that you will make the best choice for your system and your family regarding visiting your father in hospital.

You are so strong and have survived through so much. You are not just a good person but a great one!! Nothing that is going on in your life currently is payback. I know the universe can seem perverse at times but you are a good person and this is just an especially sucky time of life right now.

My prayers are with you. I hope that you choose what is best for YOU and let all other decisions come after that most important point.

((kim)) post here as often as you need to while coping with this.