My husband is a twin with a girl, He is very easy going and relaxed while she is quite pretentious and self-entitled. Their personalities are very different.
They haven’t had a great relationship for about 15 years. I feel that the first conflict with them was to do with jealousy. It was around the time he started dating me. She was extremely rude to me and made up some horrible rumours. It got to the point where he started shutting his sister out as a way of protecting me. We ended up having a break for a little while. When we got back together. We were all adults now. This time I reached out to his sister to reconcile the past misunderstandings, I knew it was all to do with her feelings of rejection. So we started catching up for dinners together, everything seemed fine until there were a series of events of disrespect and derogatory things that happened that he thought its best to step away from the hurt, pain and drama his sister and her partner had caused him. So he cut ties.
They haven’t spoken for about 4 years now. During that time their father passed away. He has found he is much happier without her in his life and has moved on and so have they.
However his mum hasn’t accepted it. She is biased towards her daughter, she has always favoured her, which is very hurtful to him. As a way of his mum getting what she wants she uses emotional manipulation tactics eg “your father wouldn’t be proud of you” “it proves you don’t have the same love and respect for me that you had for your father” “do one thing for me and the memory of your father”
“your father would be ashamed of you” to make him feel guilty. She wants them to reconcile for her own selfish reasons. She never listens to his grievances about the situation or whether it’s actually healthier for him to not have this toxic person in his life. This last attempt has again not worked for her so now she is ignoring her son. He is at a loss of what to do? Does he succumb to what his mum wants to the detriment of his happiness? Or does he protect himself?