Hi everyone, I am new here and I joined here because well, I don't know where else to turn. I have tried a site called "E-Not Alone" with no luck. Since this site has a big relationship department I thought maybe I could get some advice.

I am 17 years old and I am currently in an LDR with another 17 yr old male for about 4 months now. I love him so much. It's not just "like" I know this is love because of how I feel for him.

We are online only but plan on meeting in the near future as both of us live in the USA so not too far apart. The problem is, I have cheated on him multiple times. Sexting specifically and at least with 13 people.

Mainly just exchanging nudes and roleplay, nothing too crazy but still very wrong. I act out of impulse and don't know what I'm doing until I'm finished and that's when the guilt immediately sets in.

I haven't sexted with anyone in a while now but back in September, I was caught sexting someone and he initially broke up with me but he decided to forgive me because he loves me so much.

I genuinely care about him and show him my love everyday we talk. The way we met and the story behind our meeting is magical, something out of a movie. I don't want to lose him I love him so much and I don't want to break his heart again.

I am not dating anyone on the side of him but that still doesn't justify what I did. I have no motive for what I did either. I just basically did it to see what those other guys had. When I finished I felt absolutely horrible.

I have lost other relationships due to my infidelity. Some partners never found out, others did. The ones who didn't find out just broke up with me cause either they found someone else or they were abusive so I ended up dumping them. I felt it was karma for my cheating.

After my last relationship ended due to infidelity, I vowed I'd never cheat again. Yet here I am doing it again. Why do I do this?? Why can't I just stay faithful? I just can't control myself. I want a healthy relationship without lies and secrets but every relationship I've had seemed to have gone bad. This one is not like the other ones though.

He genuinely cares for me and I do the same. He has not cheated on me once!! I am a serial cheater and I need help. Please spare the negative comments. I know I'm an awful person.