I want to say something about the drugs that I took over the last 50 years...
I think they helped...but the side effects were a problem for me..
I believed that my depression disorder was going to be a lifetime problem..
i am not so sure now even though i had 3 breakdowns...
drugs can be helpful but it depends on your own depression...
there were a lot of things i had to do in order to manage my emotional ststes...besides drugs....i survived and now I DO NOT WANT TO KILL MYSELF...i want to live..
but when i was young i sure wanted to leave this life and never return...
and i don't believe in a heaven...