Hello,

I'm new to the forums but really have no one here at home to talk to or who understands what the misery of bipolar depression is like. My husband tries to be supportive but after a certain amount of time, he gets upset that my depression isn't getting better even though he's trying to be supportive and then gets irritated and upset. I don't have any friends who can relate to my situation so I've come here to connect with other people who can.

I'm currently on meds and had been stable for a good amount of time but in the beginning of November, depression hit and I haven't been going to work, the house is in a state of chaos and I don't change out of my pajamas most days. It's Christmas time, I don't want to be like this for my family at Christmas. I feel terrible and I feel guilty, like I'm ruining everything for everyone.

I saw my Dr. last week. I currently take Vyvanse for ADD along with having bipolar and my dr thought it would be a quick acting solution to keep me from sinking any further to add Adderall boosters during the day to the Vyvanse to pick up my energy levels and hopefully improve my mood. He said it would work faster than an antidepressant that would take weeks to get into my system and he wanted something that would be more immediate. He then said to come in this week (a week later) and we would discuss changing one of my antidepressants over to one of the newer ones that have come out. He also knew I wasn't going to work, that I had reached the point of low where I was barely functioning and talked to me about taking a leave of absence from work. The day came for my follow up appointment and I get a TEXT from his office.. A TEXT, not phone call, stating they have to reschedule my appointment followed up by asking how was I on med refills. I texted back that my appt was not a monthly check in for med refills that it was a follow up for the depression but the receptionist ignored me and scheduled my appointment for JANUARY. All afternoon, through TEXTING, I went back and forth with her until she finally understood that I could not wait until January to see my psychiatrist and that he had put me on Adderral boosters during the day and wanted to do other med changes and that I was still feeling terrible and that I needed help. In between texts, I had emailed my psychiatrist and asked him to please call me, I was not doing well and was now being rescheduled. The receptionist magically moves someone and gets me in the week after next after telling me that my psychiatrist has LEFT TOWN THAT DAY AND ALL OF NEXT WEEK. I asked her if she could ask him to call me and she said he probably couldn't because he was out of town. WTF?!?!?! I am on added doses of a new stimulant, just to see if it helps, I still feel awful and my dr has left me with no help, no answers. He never called or returned my email. I am so upset and frustrated over the whole thing. He just left without caring about what was happening. And there's nothing I can do. And I'm not going to get any help from him for another 2 weeks so it's at least 2 more weeks of being in the bottom of the gutter depression. I am so frustrated. I'm sorry this is such a long post. Thanks for reading.

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Currently taking - Latuda, WellbutrinXL, Mirtazapine, Trokendi XR, Vyvanse and now also Adderall