So after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I'm either (hypo)manic, mixed or severely depressed. I can't seem to find balance. Its like walking on a tightrope and I'm trying not to fall off but I'm failing. The thing is I can't remember what 'normal' is, but then again I never was, I've always suffered from clinical depression and then diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I sincerely envy people who have never suffered from mental illness, I find myself bitter and angry but it's worse now because of my constant episodes. How do you know when you are stable? I can't seem to understand what my 'normal' is.