Maybe you need to get away from it all. Go for a hike in the mountains or something. Completely change your environment. When people tell me that I'm lucky to not be working part of me wants to really lay into them about how I'm not lucky and I would rather be at work than where I am now. But usually say something like it's not what it seems and if I wasn't battling my own demons everyday maybe it would be enjoyable. That usually shuts them up. My point is I think we get bogged down with the same old thing day in and day out and the only person we can trust and that we want to be with is ourselves, and pets of course. My pets and mom are the only connections I have to this life, and then what am I suppose to do? I've already lived longer than I ever thought I would. I tempted fate a lot and gave the higher power every opportunity to take me but it didn't happen. So maybe if you take some time for you, even if it's minutes a day. Go somewhere and do what you need to do to rest. Do you take vitamins? B 12 and D would be some good ones to take. The holidays are so hard for us on so many levels. I wish I had the answer to help you, all I can do is let you know I care, I understand, and I'm never too far away.