I did the same thing about six months before. Almost got away with it too. For 3 days i was out. The last thing i remember was drinking alcohol, complementing with benzo's and a sense of relief washing over me coz i thought the unbearable, excruciatingly painful struggle to find even a sliver happiness was finally over.

I'm an extremely resilient person, have always prouded myself for not giving up ever, no matter what the circumstance but life wore me down in that instant and nothing i did was enough to lessen the pain i was in.

But, i feel really fortunate that i made it through. Going out like that would have been a gross mistake. Six months have passed, life's still hard as nails, but i persevere. Every now and then i even feel gratitude and something resembling happiness, this feeling, its so intense sometimes that its joyfully overwhelming, moments like this makes life worth hanging on to.

I made it. And SO will you. Please hang in there. It'll be worth it.