Thanks everyone for responses, it feels good that I'm not alone in this.

I was able to enjoy the planned evening out with friends last nite, it was a good distraction. A long planned Christmas gathering. I was feeling that I might not be up for it and it surely wouldn't be the time or place for connecting with my friends on the challenges I'm having right now! The wine probably helped.

But here I am, coffee cup in hand, first thing in am, rolling over my feelings of abandonment again. Should I text T? I'm upset about the cancellation and not sure I can/want to talk to her yet.....
I have a regular appointment tues. I think I'll live with these feelings a bit and see....maybe wait and bring to session after I can sort through better.
Why is this so hard?

Tsunami, I like the "limitations of therapy" thread, thanks for that.