Thanks Skeezyks :-)

Thanks Daeva :-). Your post was really helpful. I did feel that T was having countertransference issues. It felt really awkward. Because I am so new to this I felt something was wrong but was doubting myself because I have never experienced countertransference before. But it does feel like that. I did feel like T was blurring the boundaries. A couple of weeks ago I felt my transference issues, wishing I could be friends with T. But I realised this wasn't right, so did some online research so I was in a better place. Then we talked about some deep issues the next week and I felt the feelings of attraction with T. But I worked through those this week out of therapy and in my own time and now realise it is related to my past and has nothing to do with attraction and everything to do with my childhood.

I told T I was getting a sex therapist because of my negative views about sex. T did not seem that happy when I told T. I just stood my ground and told T I would be more comfortable talking about those things to someone more specialised. When I wanted to stop talking about it, T started saying that I brought it into the room and maybe we can have a whole session to talk about sex before I see the sex therapist. But why is T suggesting this? Shouldn't it be me who decides what I want to speak about?

I have decided to try and address things directly with T next week. Get them out in the open so it doesn't carry on. This transference and countertransference is so tiring. Even saying goodbye was awkward for me and my T last week.

It just feels like the T doesn't know how to handle countertransference. T says that the session is about me but then allows T's own feelings to surface.

Last week T also started complementing me on my matching outfit and when we were discussing about self image asked in quite a forward way after we were talking about my legs, "so do you have nice legs?" It felt quite flirtatious. I presume this is countertransference?

Thanks for your support growlycat :-) I hope your therapy concludes well x