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Originally Posted by apsychologynewbie
I told T I was getting a sex therapist because of my negative views about sex. T did not seem that happy when I told T. I just stood my ground and told T I would be more comfortable talking about those things to someone more specialised. When I wanted to stop talking about it, T started saying that I brought it into the room and maybe we can have a whole session to talk about sex before I see the sex therapist. But why is T suggesting this? Shouldn't it be me who decides what I want to speak about?
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Yes, it should be you who decides what to talk about. I almost wonder if T is jealous that you're going to talk about the sexual issues with someone else? Or it could just be that your T is trying to say he could talk about that, too. But then he just should have said something like, "You can talk about that in here if you want."
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I have decided to try and address things directly with T next week. Get them out in the open so it doesn't carry on. This transference and countertransference is so tiring. Even saying goodbye was awkward for me and my T last week.
It just feels like the T doesn't know how to handle countertransference. T says that the session is about me but then allows T's own feelings to surface.
Last week T also started complementing me on my matching outfit and when we were discussing about self image asked in quite a forward way after we were talking about my legs, "so do you have nice legs?" It felt quite flirtatious. I presume this is countertransference?
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Um, that last part just sounds like regular flirting to me, not so much countertransference. I think countertransference is more beneath the surface. Like it might lead to your T treating you differently than other clients, not so much asking about your legs...
I hope discussing it next session goes well. I've found talking about it has helped me (though my transference issues, which have included both erotic and paternal at times, is kind of complicated because it's my marriage counselor).