Thanks Ozzie for your hug and thanks Dalila and zenhussy for responding. Your replies were helpful. My T is looking into different types of therapy, and has said that maybe I would feel more comfortable with a woman T or someone who specializes in this type of trauma. But I don't want to start over with anyone else and I trust him, so hopefully we can do this together. He said that dissociation and repression has been a big thing with me and I know that he is right about that. I barely have any childhood memories at all and find that I have few memories of my precious daughter who died from a brain tumor when she was 4. I guess that in shutting down the bad memories, I've also lost many good memories too. I know I'm rambling on so I think I'll sign off and head over to the dissociation forum and look at your link Zen. Thanks for sharing and......caring.