Doing considerably better since winter sadness crept in here and there. I am trying to work on seeing a couple of friend's I've known for a long time, but do not see that often. I basically have like 4 friends and maybe some acquaintances I rarely ever see. Anyways I am telling myself to take initiative to get out there and get rid of what loneliness is left.

I don't like looking desperate when I send more texts after I don't get replies, but of course in most cases I wonder why they are upset at me or what I did to upset them. Reading these online articles that I am boring, they don't respect me enough, or are upset with me are possibilities that aren't making me feel any better. I don't know if I should just send another text another time and possibly look annoying or if I should straight up ask if they got my text. One of my friends in particular just doesn't reply half the time until she actually wants to do something which is beyond annoying.

So what I read is that I am an unworthy and annoying person when it could be the other case and they just are busy. It's hard to tell what are normal interactions and what actually means almost no one likes me I guess.