I have no idea why some of us have these kinds of struggles while some or even many other people do not, but the point for me is to keep working at enjoying the fact that I have yet to ever reach a point where it is impossible to say I no longer enjoy the re-discovery of peaceful times. Right now I am feeling pretty good and almost afraid to do or say much of anything lest something go wrong and I end up back in a mess, but I make mental notes about being here and refuse to believe this will ultimately prove to be my last-ever time of feeling okay.