No I mean like...sudden thoughts that come out of nowhere like for example I was standing next to a coworker a few years ago and suddenly had the image of myself grabbing the scissors on the counter and stabbing her in the back with them. Thoughts like that are disturbing because it's totally not me, and I wouldn't actually do it.
Or...when I am walking over a bridge and look down and have the sudden though of throwing myself over.
Or throwing myself in front of an oncoming car.
Or like last night when I was feeling really depressed, having the thought of just taking my whole bottle of meds so I wouldn't have to deal with my ****** life anymore.
Which is wierd because I am NOT suicidal, I am actually scared of dying.